Putting the fun back into being pretentious since 2013
"One of the few remaining reasons I'm on Twitter" - @B0ne5

Sunday, 13 July 2025

Wire: Heartbeat

Small Story - 13 July 2025

After my loss of consciousness a couple of weeks ago I was back at the doctor's for some tests. I had some blood taken for analysis and was also hooked up for an ECG.

First time I'd had one. There were wires attached to sticky pads around my heart and also to my wrists and ankles. It took longer to hook me up to the machine than for it to do the job and tell me that there was nothing wrong with my ticker. Good news.

How fortunate for this series of posts then that post-punk legends Wire have a song called Heartbeat. It's from their second album, Chairs Missing, which was released in 1978 and also contains the fantastic I Am the Fly.


Friday, 11 July 2025

The Monkees: The Door Into Summer

Small Story - 11 July 2025

Rare excitement at Tea at Johnny's Towers this week as we had a new front door installed. I thought I'd recognise this event with a 'door' song. 

As I'd already used The Fall's My Door is Never my attention turned to The Doors but they seemed more interested in back doors. The door is a dark blue so that also rules out Green Door. Sorry Jim Lowe and Shakin' Stevens

So The Monkees become the choice with their The Door Into Summer from the 1967 album Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn & Jones Ltd.

As we're into the third heat wave of the year a door into summer seems doubly appropriate. The lyrics highlight a man more interested in making money (from 'the war') rather than enjoying life. That might have happened in the sixties but surely wouldn't go on now.


Friday, 27 June 2025

Tinie Tempah: Pass Out

Small Story - 27 June 2025

I don't want this blog to become a 'what's wrong with me this week' noticeboard but that's the way it seems to be going. This week I did, in fact, pass out.

I was at the desk, listening to the Horace Silver Quintet album Song for My Father* and moving some files about when I suddenly felt incredibly anxious. And then I woke up.

I felt pretty bad straight afterwards and Mrs Tea at Johnny's dialled 111 but, long story short, it doesn't appear to be anything serious thankfully. I was worried it might have been a seizure but the nurse practitioner I saw suggests it was a vasovagel. That's a new one on me. More tests in a couple of weeks.

I don't know much about Tinie Tempah but I do know that I like Pass Out, his 2010 chart-topper that would go on to win the Brit Award for Song of the Year the following year.

I do have something in common with Mr Tempah, in that we've both been to Southampton and neither have us have been to Scunthorpe.



* Did the discordance of this Hard Bop classic cause the unconsciousness, in whole or part? I'm not going to listen again to test the theory.

Sunday, 15 June 2025

Queen: Flash

Small Stories - 15 June 2025

I was out with my friends Ben, David and Dave for an occasional curry meet-up this week when something happened.

I started to experience flashing lights in the left side of my left eye. It was very strange, I've never had that before. I thought it was reflections from the lights off the cutlery or Ben's watch or the mirror behind where we were sat so I didn't say anything. But when we left the restaurant it continued.

I've heard of optical migraines but I had no headache and I could still see perfectly well. It seemed to be something in my peripheral vision.

After doing a bit of online research it seemed like these flashes in the eye aren't a good thing. a day or so later I was also getting an increasing problem with floaters in my eye. (Not those sort of floaters, grow up.)

I went into my opticians and explained the issue and was immediately sent into triage. I was there for three and a half hours as they searched for the problem and was eventually referred to hospital.

Turns out I have a partially-detached retina. I've had some laser retinopexy to stop the problem from getting worse and have a follow-up appointment in a couple of weeks.

My thanks to all the professionals at the Swindon town centre Specsavers and Great Western Hospital who helped me navigate this over the last few days.

So I think I'm allowed to choose Flash by Queen which reached number ten in 1981 and is the theme song to the film Flash Gordon which came out the year before.

I can't hear it without thinking of Frank Sidebottom's (superior) version though.


Monday, 9 June 2025

George Michael: A Different Corner

Small Story (9 June 2025)

Some very good friends and I went to the international T20 cricket match between England and the West Indies yesterday.

It was held at the Bristol County Ground, a venue we'd been to a couple of times before.

We were sat in a different place this time, the Mound Stand Corner. It's perhaps the best as far as amenities are concerned but not so great for a view of the scoreboard and replays on the big screens.

So yes, we were sat in a different corner of the ground to before and I make no apologies for choosing George Michael's 1986 Gold-selling, number one A Different Corner to accompany this small story.


Saturday, 31 May 2025

Maximo Park - The National Health

Small Story - 31 May 2025

I wrote about my trip to hospital a couple of weeks ago. Well, I'm pleased to say that the results came back this week and I don't need any further treatment.

So, my thanks go to the NHS for identifying and examining a potential issue as well as looking after me on the day.

The National Health is a 2012 single by Geordie indie rockers Maximo Park from the album of the same name. It's a typically energetic example of their work.


Saturday, 17 May 2025

Ramones: I Wanna Be Sedated

Small Story - 17 May 2025

This week centred around a planned trip to hospital where I underwent, oooh let's call it an internal examination.

The nature of it is such that patients are offered a sedative and or gas and air to help relax them while keeping them conscious and able to follow instructions. It was a first for me.

But at least I can relate that to the Ramones single I Wanna Be Sedated. It's largely about being bored in London while on tour in the Christmas period rather than being prepped for a medical procedure.

Originally released in 1978 on the Road to Ruin album and as a b-side in the UK  I'm pretty sure my version is the 1980 re-release which accompanied the soundtrack to the film Times Square.

It's good, don't get me wrong, but I was surprised to see it made the Rolling Stone list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time (number 145 if you're interested).