Me versus Eggs and Baskets

Don't put all your eggs in one basket

I was watching an old episode of David Attenborough's Life of Birds with Mrs Co-ordinator recently and there was a duck (I forget which breed) that as well as having its own nest would lay the odd egg in other birds' nests too. This is a clever defensive tactic as if one nest gets destroyed (by a raccoon perhaps) there are other opportunities for the breeding line to continue. It got me thinking...

I needed a busy supermarket for my attempt at pulling this off so chose Asda on a Saturday morning and selected a box of large free range eggs. I put the package in my basket, took one out of its cardboard packaging and placed it in the basket of a nearby shopper.

Not the actual eggs

"What do you think you're playing at?" said the woman in question. I replied that I wasn't putting all my eggs in one basket. She wasn't in the least bit impressed, asking if I was "some sort of joker" and to cut a long story short I was given the egg back before anything worse happened to it or me. (It doesn't always work in the bird world either. The nest host will often detect a rogue egg and get rid of it.)

I tried again but was a bit stealthier this time. The old chap never noticed the egg placement. I followed him from aisle to aisle but then bumped into my friend Simon. Not wishing to be rude I stopped for a chat (he's playing golf again after a couple of years off, which is nice) but when I resumed the search  I couldn't find the chap. Another failure.

Not the actual basket

I thought I'd give it one more try.

I found a distracted-looking old lady and placed an egg gently in her basket while she was consumed with assessing the tinned sardine selection. Then I followed her to the till. She looked bemused as she found the egg amongst her shopping and after contemplating it for a moment she said to the checkout girl "excuse me miss, but this egg isn't mine'.

Before the confusion took further hold I explained that it was mine and that I'd always been advised not to put my eggs in one basket. I thanked her and took the egg back, carefully placing it in its cardboard home. The old lady said something about "I don't deserve this, I only popped in to get a few things while my Eric is laid up with his angina," and then she started sobbing quietly.

And then they called security.

Conclusion: Good tactic for ducks, much less so for people.

Next time - Now that I've been allowed home with my eggs I shall attempt to make an omelette without breaking them.