Me versus Tar and Brushes

Tar everyone with the same brush

I didn't think this was going to be possible but I had to give it a go.

There was some resurfacing work going on in Old Town so I took my brush, slipped the council worker on duty £20 quid and dipped into the tar. After about a minute of painting the tar onto myself I hadn't even finished my leg* so it was time for a re-think.

The saying doesn't relate how much tar you need to brush people with so I thought perhaps one brush stroke would count. So, taking one second to dip the brush and one second to paint it on someone, to tar the seven billion people in the world would take around 450 years.

Tar

And that's if they all form an orderly queue! If I have to travel around the world and find everyone to tar who knows how long it will take. Some people are bound to run away and there must be hitherto undiscovered tribes in the Amazon that will be quite hard to track down.

In some of those inaccessible places it will also be difficult to find a reliable supply of tar too. I don't suppose the major airlines will let me take my own. Travel costs are going to be prohibitive even before we get to the price of tar. (Don't get me started on the price of tar!)

Brush

And then we come to the brush. The saying is quite specific about it being the same brush. You can get some good brushes these days but I don't see one lasting all seven billion people, even if I clean it regularly.

Conclusion: Don't bother.

It doesn't even work if you try to tar everyone in the same room.  You might get one or two but everyone else will run off and the smell of the tar will have them suspicious from the off.

*I am tall though.